9 Takeaways from 2019
It’s hard to believe 2019 has come to an end. Another year - and decade - is in the books. This is one of my favorite blog posts to put together! I love taking dedicated time to reflect and recap on the ups, downs and everything in between from the past year. It allows for reflection on how even the smallest of steps helped us grow so much, and if we stuck to our vision for the year. I think it’s also a great way to get in a focused and clear mindset for the start of the upcoming year.
2019 brought SO much y’all and I cannot even begin to explain how thankful I am for each and every single moment! There was laughter, tears, self discovery, leaps of faith and memories to last a lifetime. For as long as I can remember, I used to think a year was successful if only good things happened and I accomplished all the things. 2019 taught me that although those success points are key to a great year, it truly can be those darker moments and sharp turns that put us on the trajectory to success. They are the non-Instagramable moments that get us from smile to smile; moments I wish more of us didn’t fear to share [myself included!].
My vision for the year was making it the year of growth and I’m proud to say that it most certainly was just that! I have grown in more ways than I could possibly imagine, it’s almost difficult to put it into words. I focused on me, myself and I this past year and I’m so thankful that I was fortunate enough to take the time to do so. Growth and change isn’t always easy and being able to truly devote time to it has been a true blessing!
Last year I shared 18 takeaways from 2018 and although those were all key takeaways, I decided to make things more specific and digestible this year. So without further ado, here are 9 takeaways from 2019.
STARTING THERAPY WAS THE BEST SELF-INVESTMENT I’VE EVER MADE
Mental health was a key focus for me in 2019 and something I never paid much attention to until this year. That’s not to say I wasn’t aware of my thoughts and feelings, but I kept everything inside me until it burst and I had a complete breakdown, or cried for no reason, or was afraid to voice my thoughts/opinions in various situations no matter how big or small. Finally a voice inside me said “NOW IS THE TIME! I NEED THIS!” and I took the leap and reached out to my now therapist, Chelsea Connors, for a consultation call.
A 30-minute consultation call turned hour long conversation and I was hooked. For 4 months now I’ve been meeting with Chelsea twice a month via a video conferencing system and it has truly and sincerely been life changing. She’s created such a safe space where I feel comfortable talking about any and everything on my mind. I’ve laughed and I’ve cried, but most of all I have grown and become more comfortable in my skin and given myself so much more self-compassion. Don’t get me wrong, there is still a lot of discovery to be done but I am so incredibly proud of the progress! Starting therapy was without a doubt the best self-investment I’ve ever made. I repeat: starting therapy was the best self-investment I’ve ever made!! I’ll be starting a series in 2020 on my therapy journey and the world of mental health so stay tuned for that!
YOUR GUT INSTINCT IS THERE FOR A REASON…LISTEN TO IT
This one came more into play towards the end of 2019 and is an extension of my therapy sessions, but it’s certainly a big takeaway for me and something I will be carrying into 2020 and beyond. I’ve always been hesitant to listen to those gut feelings we all get at some point or other. It’s like this powerful force within you is trying to wake you up and get your attention to do what YOU think/feel/know is best for YOU.
If you’re like me, for too long I ignored that voice inside and shrugged off those gut instincts as if they were wild and crazy dreams. Or I didn’t want to ruffle any feathers or was too concerned with what other people thought or would think. When it comes down to it, those gut instincts are there for a reason! Those gut instincts prove that what you’re thinking in your head and feeling in your heart are true and solid. It may not be a popular opinion in your circle but if it is what you truly feel is best for you at that time, listen to your gut and do it for YOU - not anyone else.
I turned down quite a few opportunities of varying capacities this year and y’all, it was SO difficult! I was afraid of what other people might think or that I was letting people down even though I had this deep, forceful feeling inside me that the opportunities just were not the right fit for me. Yes, overthinking and analyzing like whoa took place but I ultimately stuck to my gut and did what was best for me and y’all, it was incredibly liberating!! So I challenge you in the upcoming year to dig deep and listen to that gut instinct inside of you…it’s usually pretty darn correct!
FIND JOY IN EVERY SINGLE DAY // DO SOMETHING EVERY SINGLE DAY THAT MAKES YOU SMILE
I love this takeaway so so much! Some days can be more stressful, sad, or unexpected than others and we can get sucked into those blah feelings. There’s nothing wrong with tuning into those feelings but one thing I found to be so powerful in 2019 was finding joy and/or doing something that made me smile each and every single day. Now don’t get me wrong, this is still a work in progress!
If I start to feel myself getting stressed, I have found that getting some fresh air is key for me. I’ll get outside for even just a quick walk around the block and it is amazing how refreshed and calm it makes me feel. If I’m feeling a little off and not as focused, I’ve found that listening to this Yoga & Meditation playlist on Spotify helps center my mind and keeps me focused on the task at hand. If I’m feeling cooped up or like I need a change of scenery, I’ll go to my favorite local coffee shop for a delicious iced almond milk latte or walk around Target [which can be a bit dangerous lol]. If I need a laugh, shoulder to cry on or just someone to chat with for hours, I’ll call my parents or brother and I instantly feel like I’m home. If I feel like things aren’t going my way, I’ll take a deep breath and be thankful for a roof over my head, food on the table, and the sun in the sky. It doesn’t have to be anything big or life-changing, but little joys each day add up to a life full of so much joy!
I HAVE THE BEST SUPPORT SYSTEM
I think sometimes we can take for granted the people in our lives that are there for us through thick and thin, no matter what. Sometimes we get so focused on the situation or task at hand that we even forget about that support system we have that is and always will be there for us, no matter what.
I’ve learned this year that I have the world’s best support system I could ever ask for! Family, friends and beyond, these people are gold to me and I am so thankful and blessed to have them in my life. Each person holds a special place in my heart and I know I can turn to them no matter what.
Whether it is someone to chat with just because, someone to bounce ideas off of, someone to go to for guidance or that listens endlessly as you talk through situations and decisions at hand, having a support system in your life is key. As strong as we are on our own, we can’t go through this thing called life alone. It’s so important to remember that! Be sure to let those people in your inner circle and support system just how much they mean to you, even if it seems so simple and small.
THERE IS NO TIMELINE FOR [MAJOR] LIFE EVENTS
You scroll through social media and see baby announcements, engagements, weddings, home buying and all those big life moments galore taking over your feeds. You start analyzing and dissecting your life, wondering why you aren’t at the same place or accomplished those same milestones. Sound familiar?! I’ve been there, done that my friends!
I had my fair share of “why me” moments this past year and wondering why I felt like life had taken 982374938 steps backwards when everyone else was moving forward and checking moments off of their life list. Then reality gave me a swift smack across the head and I finally woke up and realized that I had to stop comparing my life to others. My chapter 10 will never, ever look like another person’s chapter 10. Sulking around because you aren’t at the same point in life as others is wasting precious time you have on this earth. Your time will come when it is meant to be.
This was a tough pill to swallow. I mean, even growing up I envisioned all of these major life moments happening. And I’m sure a bunch of you did, too. What I’ve come to realize is that God is preparing me through other events for these major “timeline” moments. There is no way I was prepared or mature enough to be married at 19, buy a house at 20, and have a kids at 21 and 24 [aka my parents timeline]. I needed to experience life, become comfortable in my own skin, figure out my likes and dislikes, fail at things, etc. I’m perfectly okay with my timeline and though it may not be what I thought it would be 10 years ago, 5 years ago, heck - even a year ago, I know that when these life events do happen, I will not take them for granted and be fully immersed in them!
THE VALUE OF A DOLLAR
Personal finances and money was something I put a lot of attention towards in 2019. I started really diving into how I was spending my money and how I could make better use of said spending. By budgeting every single dollar of income, I was able to understand where everything was going and how variable expenses were impacting my financial well-being.
Through personal experiences and my money journey, I decided to start sharing what I had learned with all of you through a new Money Monday series. I was blown away by the support of the series and how much y’all wanted to improve your finances. We covered quite a few intro-style topics and I’m excited to dive into things more in 2020, continuing to take control of my finances. ICYMI, here’s the topics we covered so far in the Money Monday series…
I’m excited to continue to take my finances to the next level and continue this money journey with y’all! If there are any specific money related topics you’d like me to cover, leave them below in the comments!
EVERYTHING DOES NOT HAPPEN FOR A REASON
This one might seem a bit contradictory and a bit like a double-edged sword but hear me out. Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve probably heard the quote that says that everything happens for a reason. I even mentioned it in my 2018 recap blog post and have a bracelet that says it. So you’re probably thinking well, why do you now say things don’t happen for a reason?!
First, I think every situation we are faced with is presented to teach us something. But when it comes down to it, shitty situations are just that…shitty situations. Whether it’s losing a loved one, an unfortunate medical diagnosis, losing your job, the ending of a relationship, or any other roller coaster moments that life can present, they down right suck. During those times telling yourself that everything happens for a reason can seem downright uncomfortable, un-motivational and just blah. You’re allowed to feel down when crappy situations like that happen and to let your emotions take over. It’s okay to be emotional!
THE POWER OF NETWORKING
This is a topic that I’m excited to share more about in 2020 but as a quick end of year synopsis, networking is an amazing thing! It’s something that was ingrained in me throughout my college career at Temple University; I graduated with a Bachelor’s in Sports Management from the School of Tourism and Hospitality Management [aka STHM]. Internships and industry hours were part of the curriculum and is where my networking journey began. Post-college, networking and creating connections helped progress me along in my career.
Networking and generating a community on both a professional and personal level is something I’ve put more focus on towards the end of 2019. People are more willing to help you and talk with you than you think! People also love talking about themselves and their journey which is a win-win in the networking world. Whether it is reaching out to someone through a mutual connection to meet for coffee, starting up a conversation with a stranger in a coffee shop, going to open houses and local events, etc. I met with and developed contacts and relationships with so many wonderful individuals lately! Stay tuned for more on this in 2020.
FINDING AN OUTLET[S] TO RELIEVE STRESS IS KEY
We all have those moments or days where we are just completely overwhelmed and/or stressed. We can feel it through every ounce and nerve of our body, as if it’s taking over and becoming this crippling thing. One thing I focused on in 2019, especially after beginning therapy, was finding different outlets to release that negative energy, calming and centering myself.
For me, there are various things that work as outlets and it took some trial and error to discover them. The first step for me is removing myself from the situation or task at hand that is causing said stress. I found that staying in the stress trying to bypass it or ignore it just made things worse. From there, I have a few tactics that help to continue to clear my mind and refocus myself.
Getting outside for fresh air does wonders for my mind and my mood! Even if it’s just a quick walk around the block or sitting outside for 5 minutes. Closing my eyes for 5 minutes in a dark room is another tactic that works great! I focus on my breathing and do everything in my power to not let me mind think about the situation or wander. Yoga is also another great technique, even if it’s just a few minutes of movement or stretching. I also enjoy a good cup of tea. I don’t know what it is about it but having that warm drink and just sitting enjoying the view outside and with my own thoughts does wonders. I’ll be diving more into this idea of stress outlets in 2020, too.
So there you have it my friends, 9 of my biggest takeaways from 2019…and the last blog post of the year and decade! I’m so excited to continue this journey with you and I’m looking forward to diving into more real life content outside of fashion and beauty in the new year. Here’s to wandering along through this thing called life!